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[12 Dec 2004|11:08pm] |
Grrrr I HATE when people do this...
This is the point where I know I should let go, when you out of nowhere stop answering my calls. I should stop trying... But I know you WANT me to still try.
So this is the breaking point, I guess it is in my hands now.
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[11 Dec 2004|09:28pm] |
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Silence always triggers the tears
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[11 Dec 2004|06:21pm] |
It is so incredible when just ONE thing opens up your eyes to how wrong everything in your life is..
...how wrong everyone I have ever been with has been for me
...how amazing it feels to know someone is saying all of those incredible things to you because they truly mean it, not because they want something from you
...how to become the person that you always knew you should be in the back of your head
The last few days have made me realize so many things. From now on the only thing I am going to concentrate on is being happy, for myself not for anyone else.
Thank You.
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[30 Nov 2004|12:07am] |
Basically everything sucks...
X-mas has made me broke, and living alone is so ... lonely. lol.
Only work 4 days this week, I am going to look for a new job since I cannot take another day at Emerald.
I hope everything turns out better then it looks right now.
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| Everything |
[26 Nov 2004|02:10pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
It is so weird being on my own. If Kristen wasn't next door I am not sure I would have survived this.
I HATE my job at Emerald. People are so obnoxious, drunk and rude. And I miss going to Emerald and being drunk obnoxious and rude... lol
Wednesday night sucked because they FORCED me to work andall my friends were up there all fucked up.. and I was frustrated to say the least.
I went shopping/dinner with Emmalie and Kelly on Tues tho.. It was nice to see them.
I feel like I have so many things to buy and not enough time or money. My expensive taste is really starting to become a problem.lol.
Well I am going to go get ready.. hopefully get a new Couch and go shopping.
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[19 Nov 2004|06:21pm] |
This is me... the real me, from here on out.
No more pretending to hide things from you...
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[19 Nov 2004|12:16am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
I haven't updated in forever...
Where to start...
I now live alone. I guess I am kinda getting used to it. There is so much less drama, it makes me feel so calm all the time. Not that being in a relationship is bad, but life is so much easier on your own when you are not trying to support/worrying about another person on top of yourself. At first I was so overwhemled and didn't know how this would ever work out, but now slowly things are starting to come together.
Last weekend I went to Toronto with Nicole, Amanda, Shanna and Emily... some girls from work. I had such an amazing time. The clubs were awesome. We stayed at one club until 7 am. It was crazzyyy. I have some very crazy pictures. lol. It was os nice to jes go away with just girls and have fun. I needed that so bad.
I have been opening my eyes up more and more to the real side of people. Once you get to know a lot of people your perspective on them completely changes. Its really depressing/sad to see how many people are shallow heartless assholes. Also, most people my age are immature irresponsible idiots. No offense to the people I love. And, people who you party with are NOT there for you when you need emotional support, even the ones you thought would be.
Oh... and I am NOT willing to have sex with girls... any girls. lol.
Although, I did discover that when you turn 21 life becomes great. lol.
Things I have recently done...
-got my nose peirced ( its cute ;) )
-tried something illegal I never thought I would
-got closer to more girls then I ever have let myself in the past
-had more fun in a cab then you ever should.. ( and got more free rides then you ever should lol )
- seen an insane amount of boobs
-started talking to a few people form the past I thought were out of my life ( this is a good thing)
-started loving crab legs again
- went on a REAL date :)
Things to do...
- date
-get a new non-expired ID
-find somewhere to go for new years ( FL were thinking?)
- organize and clean my damn apt
- start xmas shopping
-save lotzzz of money
- get something new peirced
- go back to Guverment
- get boobs
I had a good night at work for once.. wo hooo
Pray I have an amazing week at work and make all the money for my bills this month.
Goodnight
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| ahhh |
[21 Oct 2004|02:13pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
] |
So I FINALLY got an ID! wo hooo. Went to Wild Woody's last night, since it was a Wed and no where else to go. It was pretty fun though, they had this wheel they would spin every like 10 mins with new 2 dollar shots... it was great lol
OTHER THEN LOSING MY PHONE !!! So yeah... everyone call me because I have no ones number dammit.
I should be getting ready for work right now, but I am being so lazy. I am soooo sick of working. I don't get a day off until possibly Halloween :(
I can't wait for Kristen to move into my apts, I can look at my window and see her window, its so close! I am excited none the less.
I am now broke again because of my stupid phone I just had to go buy... 300 gone cuz of my drunk stupidity.
Speaking of broke... time to go to work *tear*
People need to start coming to visit me more often, its lonely there.
Emerald tomm and sat... no Hooters till Sun :)
Im outtt
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| It's been forever! |
[18 Oct 2004|11:20pm] |
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I haven't updated in months...
So basically now I work 24/7. I work at Hooters Mon-Thurs and Sun, and Fri and Sat Nights I am a shot girl at Emerald in Mt. Clemens. But thats not really like doing work because it's so fun!
I am going to Toronto in a few weeks with some girls from work So far it is me, Nicole, Amanda, Shanna and Emily. It should be really fun and good to finnally get away.
I am finnally going to start school too! I am going to start at Wayne State next semester. As of now I am majoring in Journalism, and I think I want to be an editor or go to advertising.
Me and Chris are doing good overall. lol And Kristen and her boyfriend are moving into the building next to us so I am excited to have some company!
Things have been getting better since everyone left/ decided to hate me...
I have been talking to some people that I haven't in a while and that makes things seem a lil better....
Anyways we have the internet now so I will be able to update all the time!
Bye for now!
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[02 Sep 2004|07:36pm] |
I haven't updated in forever...
This past weekend I did a lot of thinking...
I miss everyone that has left, and I am scared for the future.
I am sorry to anyone I have done anything irrational to in the last few months... I have realized a lot of shit lately..
I miss a few particular people, who I am sure know who they are... I don't know if I could ever be friends with them again, but it is really sad how everything turned out
I transferred my job to Novi, and lookign for another job. Everything has worked out better then I thought with my money and everything.
Novi is a lot different though, the people are so stuck up lol. But the area is really nice.
I might/ hopefully be getting a job at The Post Bar too which would be fun, and help me save up for all the shit I am getting
Anyways were getting internet soon so I will updat then..
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| So.. |
[30 Jun 2004|07:56pm] |
I moved out on my own with Lauren to the Harbors. First night we have a few ppl over cops came... So I dunno about the party situation. It is nice/weird having no parents or rules or nething. Sometimes its loney. Mostly it is fun tho shopping around for stuff for our adorable apartment. It is so weird not having a computer! lol.
I also have been working 24/7... I am really used to my job n stuff now which makes it not so bad. Most the time being a Hooter Gurl is fun lmao
A lot of stuff has been going on and I don't even know who I should/can trust or what I should do about anything.
And yes... I know I am a hypocrite.
Not sure when I will be able to update again...
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| P-I-M-P? |
[23 Jun 2004|12:43pm] |
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My Name is Samantha...I am a P-I-M-P but i never update my journal...
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| Last Night... |
[12 Jun 2004|09:02am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Slow Motion |
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Me and Lauren and Missy went to Emerald. It was soo fun. We danced on the stage with the poles and each other most of the time, thought that was kinda funny. After we went to one of Joey's friends house with a buncha food and tight projection thing and slept on this TINY couch together...
Needless to say I can't feel my ass or my feet and I still feel drunk lol
Missed *you* last night...
Tonight hopefully hittin up The Beach Grille again :)
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| Wow... |
[07 Jun 2004|01:21pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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Yesterday was the shittiest day at work... and my phone is STILL lost.
Me and Melissa has a realllly good night on Sat. We went to our first Bar, The Beach Grille. It was soo much fun, drinkin Long Islands and Blue Margaritas. :)
I have to work tonight, and tues, wed, thurs and sunday.
Something good better happen this weekend because I deserve it.
Lately, things don't seem the same... I can't figure out what it is, or how to fix it.
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[03 Jun 2004|10:42am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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The computer has been broke forever!
I've been working 24/7... soooo tired. Come visit me ! ;)
Graduation on Sat yay
Everything is perfect right now, you couldn't make me happier. I Love You!
I NEED to move out asap.
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[29 May 2004|11:04am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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It's been forever since I updated! So were finally out, and graduation is next week... wo hooo I couldn't be happier.
I got another job... yes, Oficially a Hooters gurl. You can't come visit me unless u ask first tho lol, because it is kinda embarassing. lol.
Prom... im really excited to get my hair done w. the extentions, I hope it looks like a princess.
We ( me lauren n chris) might actually be moving out.. like asap. Its kinda scary and kinda exctiting at the same time. All I know is that I am more then ready!
Everything seems to b getting better lately, hopefully it stays this way.
O and Lauren is still my roommyy
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[23 May 2004|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Gett Lowww |
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DISASTER...enough said.
One day I swear reality will hit me and I will realize everyone is an asshole and I can be the nicest girl in the world... and it still won't change nething.
But besides the disaster I had alotta fun shopping n drivin about 9 hours with Lauren lol.
But you kno what nothing matters... there 5 fuckin dayz left, seriously! lol
I think I recently turned into a virgin... no joke.
I haven't drank, smoked, done nething really inna few weeks now. What a good gurl I am ;)
Off to write my research paper
Oh and thank you for making my night wonderful tonight hun!
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[21 May 2004|06:29pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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confessions |
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So were getting ready to leave for up north! I am sooo excited to spend the weekend with my roommate lol. Newayz today I bought 2 skirts, which are all so adorable.
Sometimes with you I think you'll never change, you'll always continue to hurt me somehow. Sometimes thats all that goes through my mind.. and I just can't let it go.
This weekend si a good test for us both... hopefully a test of honesty as well..
I guess we will just wait in see...
I have alotttaaaa packing n cleanin to do b4 I leave so Im oUT! ;)
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[20 May 2004|12:57pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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music |
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Confessions |
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I have sooo much to do! I have about 3 hrs of AP BIo or else I fail, 2 eng essays and a Health Occ Proj... and ONE WEEK LEFT!
I am looking foreward to this weekend, going up north with Lauren n sum other ppl! Should b fun.. we bought all our snacks yesterday! :)
I am off to take a nap then start on all this bs...
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| A hopeful furture! |
[18 May 2004|01:23pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Don't tell me whaty to say... |
] |
I guess in a sence things are getting a lil better... look at everything I have to look foreward to...
- Cedar Point this weekend ( hopefully? ) Maybe Canada after??
- This is my last FULL week of school ever... next week exams and last day and Senior Picnic...
-Prom.. hopefully I am getting hair extensions and i'll look like a princess and have a gr8 night with my prince :)
- NO WORK OR WAKING UP EARLY FOR A WHOLEEEEE WEEEKKK
-Graduation... nose pierced with my Emmalie after and prolly partying!
All this within basically 2 1/2 weeks... it is so overwhelming. And I have a new roommate ( Lauren :) ) But I dunno for how long.
Time 4 workkkk
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